Questions

people are stupid. and you wouldn't even believe how stupid.

ok, i know your thinking, well duh, you already work there, of course you know whats what and whats going on....but sometimes it's really just common sense! However, most of the time i answer these questions before a guest has even finished asking them, as its obvious what they are about to ask me, So read this before you go to Shrek. Then you wont need to annoy me.

So....when I am at Greeter, these are the most commonly asked questions:

Guest: Which way do i go?
Answer: Down the line that the other 100 people are going down?
Guest: Do i go this way?(points to line that is chained up, away from the enterance)
Answer: No, go down the line everyone else is going down.

Guest: FastPass?
Answer: Express?
Guest: Fastpass! (whilst nodding)
Answer: Express!! (whilst furiously nodding)
Guest: Fast....Pass?!
Answer: EXPRESS!!!!!

Guest: Where is the express line?
Answer: (Point at the sign to my right) Right here
Guest: Where is the regular line?
Answer: (Point at the sign to my left) Right here
Guest: Which line do i go down?
Answer: If you have express, go down the express line. If not go down the regular line.
Guest: Is this enterance ticket express?
Answer: No its your enterance ticket.
Guest: How do i get express?
Answer: You can purchase an express ticket from either Nicktoons Store or the Universal Studios Store for $20 for one park each, or $26 for two parks each, which gives you a less than 15 minute wait on all attractions aside from our new red rollercoaster, the Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit or the P fliers in Islands of Adventure.
Guest: I have to buy one?
Answer: Only if you want to purchase an express ticket
Guest: Should i buy one?
Answer: Its your own decision - Today is pretty busy/Today is pretty quiet
Guest: Can i get a fastpass?
Answer: we only have express
Guest: Can i get an express?
Answer: Yes, you can purchase them from nicktoons store or universal studios store
Guest: purchase?
Answer: yes, for $20 for one park each or $26 for two park each
Guest: no fastpass?
Answer: no fastpass, only express
Guest: Is Fastpass this way?
Answer: yes, Do you have an express ticket?
Guest: no, fastpass?
Answer: No, go down the regular line if you don't have express
Guest: There is no fastpass?
Answer: there is only express
Guest: What is express?
Answer: its a ticket you can purchase which will give you a less than 15 minute wait on all attractions except for hollywood rip ride rockit or the p fliers in islands of adventure.
Guest: But i have this hotel room key card
Answer: :-| that also acts as express....come right this way....but next time show this card at the front of ALL ATTRACTIONS! (eye twitches)

Guest: Is this the express line?
Answer: Yes it is
Guest: All these people have express?
Answer: Well actually, this is the loading line, it means you will get into the next showing
Guest: But i have express
Answer: thats ok, you are in the right place
Guest: But look at all these people?
Answer: Ok, basiclly this is our loading line....it means you will get into the very next show, we let in 300 people into each show, so everytime those doors open, 300 people go inside....and there is only 100 people in this loading line, so you will get right into the next show.
Guest: But i have express.
Answer: Im afraid you will have to wait in this line until the doors open...then EVERYBODY will go inside. There is already 300 people inside those doors, so we cant let anymore in, until they have exited
Guest: But i have express
Answer: :-|

Guest: What is this?
Answer: Shrek 4d
Guest: What does it do?
Answer: its a 4d movie, you sit in a movie theatre, wear those funny glasses, the seats bounce up and down, there is other special effects.
Guest: Does it move?
Answer: the seats bounce up and down like a bumpy carriage ride
Guest: So its moves?
Answer: yes
Guest: is this a rollercoaster?
Answer: I dont think they could fit a roller coaster in this building....
Guest: Is this like jimmy neutron?
Answer: Not quite, jimmy neutron is a simulator, this is a 4d movie
Guest: Is this like Spiderman?
Answer: No, you wear the glasses the same, cos its 3d, but it doesnt go anywhere, its a movie.
Guest: Is this like the Simpsons?
Answer: No, the simpsons is a simulator, this is a 4d movie
Guest: Is this like the Mummy?
Answer: No, the mummy is a rollercoaster, this is a 4d movie
Guest: Can my baby come inside?
Answer: yes, we have no height restrictions
Guest: Can my grandma come in?
Answer: if she wants to
Guest: is it scary?
Answer: no....its shrek. some small children may be scared of the dark room and the loud noise, but its not scary
Guest: What is Shrek?
Answer: hes a big green fairytale ogre
Guest: Are you Shrek?
Answer: :-|



You wouldn't even believe how many small children say "Hi Shrek" at me. its really annoying. espeically when the parents snigger. The first time this happened to me i was mortified. I waved at this tiny lil kid, musta been about 4/5 years old as he walked into the preshow, and he waved back and declared "HI SHREK!" and his mother blushed a little and ushered in, and apologized. and i was just like staring in disbelief. then i found it a little funny and laughed about it.
Until it happened a few days later...only this time the parents giggled. and ever since i have loathed all these children! IM NOT SHREK! im not green, and im not an ogre(although my mum might say im different in the mornings), im not fat and huge, i dont have those strange little ears, and im wearing something totally different!

IM NOT SHREK!

this only tends to happen to me once a week, or once a fortnight, but last week i got it 3 TIMES IN ONE DAY. your kids are stupid. and cruel.
:-(



I will continue the annoying questions thing another post...as this one is pretty long now.